Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Thursday, September 18, 2008
Current mood: quiet Category: Writing and Poetry
My life is changing. Starting with a new place to rest my head at night, a new place to call home. As I've been packing up my life, I've found old journals. Random stationary, notebooks, diaries. It seems, in my past life, I was a writer, of sorts, 'cuz I've found rhythmic lines in tucked away places. Everywhere. Things I'd long forgotten about. Some make me recall memories & emotion. Others I have no idea what inspired. It's kind of intriguing. Definitely curious.Most are not the type I'd share, many I won't read again, and some should've been tossed the moment the pen touched the page, but they are words from my heart, none the less. I'm going to chuck some, cuz I'm learning to let go. But, others still have pages of room to fill with scrawling ink, and my future might hold promises of writing.But, I am changing.I don't write anymore.... much of anything.

Currently listening:Dog ProblemsBy The FormatRelease date: 2006-07-11

Sunday, August 03, 2008
This song’s been stuck in my head...
Category: Music
-and, no, I'm not talking about "I kissed a girl." Though, I seem to have that damn song playing through my head every morning, too.It's a real oldie. If you don't know Oleta Adams. Find her, listen to her, love her. She's amazingly gifted. Anyway, here's I've got a right:Tell me what's on your mindWe're running out of timeI can tell from the look in your eyesYou're making decisions with me in mind.I've asked you this beforeBut it's hard to pin you downWith a chance to have everything and nothingYou're really putting me in a bindI've got a right to know the truthWill you be loving me tomorrow?Making plans for twoWill I be drowning in my sorrow?I really need to knowthe truth about my chancesoh living with youI'm learning to live aloneIt's hard for me to knowBabe, I can't read your mindJust when I think I've opened the doorYou close it just in timeYou call me back and thensay you love me once againand I feel like I'm on a roller coasterand it's getting out of handI've got a right to know the truthWill you be loving me tomorrow?Making plans for twoWill I be drowning in my sorrow?I really need to knowThe truth about my chancesof living with youI'm learning to live alone

Currently listening:Circle of OneBy Oleta AdamsRelease date: 2006-03-13

Monday, April 28, 2008
it starts now.
I am so ready
to be finished with school.
for sunny days and heat
short dresses and flip flops.
to check out the new Dippin' Dots place by my house
and Lauren's new boba store.
for another adventure.
the next chapter
the next step.
my house!
for dessert.
for manis and pedis.
for celebrations. of many kinds.
for long drives
good company
grilling. mmmmm.
devilled eggs.
rosemary mint lemonade
to travel.
to meet new people
and try new things.
To lay in the green, green grass
and gaze at the blue sky.
For movies & icees
rootbeer floats
and freckled lemonade.
for spontaneity.
sweatiness & cool water.
to be independent.
I am so ready
for the rest of my life to begin.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

being unsure is positively related to being insecure.this sucks. I’d be so much more confident about myself and my life if I had just a smidgen more certainty and a pinch less doubt. I am very much in need of some boundaries and definitions right now.

Thursday, January 17, 2008
some things I love about The Bay
Current mood: bouncy
Before I begin, a preface. I love my family. This Christmas, I was able to spend it with them for the first time in three years. I have to tell you that there are few things that I really, really miss about California. What you're about to see is just one of those things. I don't want you to read this and think I flew 3000 miles to eat. However, I did make it a point to stop at all my favorite places, and returned to the Carolinas about 10 lbs heavier than when I left. I know it's been a while since then, but I've been occupied. So here it is, finally. A blog about my holidays.
Dim Sum. Ah.... what can I say about the wonders
of Dim Sum? Many of my favorite Chinese dishes,

all in small portions, being presented to you constantly. Yes, I want that. And that. No, not that one. Yes, some of those....

After who knows how many years, we got my brother to taste one of my all time favorites- chicken feet. He left the table five dollars richer, and with another experience under his belt.

And then, of Course there was lots of cooking. For Christmas dinner, we had crab legs. Awesome appetizers, lots of wine (we were in Napa). Pies and cakes. Candy. Pear cider. Squash, cauliflower, and other veggies. It was superb.
Then..... THE GREAT CHINA. My favorite restaurant. It's in Berkely. My altime favorite dish is served there. It's a sauteed crab dish served with hot chinese buns. My uncle and I always joke about coming there and getting one order for just the two of us (it can serve about 12 people). We play fight over the last bun every time, but he always gives it to me. We had so much food that night. My grandparents wanted to order all of our favorites since we rarely get to eat here. At most, twice a year. Here's just a few of the dishes:

Something else that was fun.... Joong. They are usually pork, green beans, and preserved egg inside sticky rice, wrapped in bannana leaves. You can get sweet ones, or other fillings, too. I love these. Last time my grandparents came for a visit, my kung kung (mom's dad) boasted that he knew how to make them. It's hard work, and we had never seen him make them, so, needless to say, we did not believe him. My popo (mom's mom) didn't even believe him. So, on this trip, we found he had prepared all the ingredients and was going to show us how it was done.
It was so funny. We had all the right stuff, but none of us could figure out how to wrap the stuff with the leaves. They are supposed to be in these tight little cones wrapped with string, so that none of the filling comes out. None of ours turned out like cones. They were all different shapes and sizes... but they turned out pretty good.

It was great to be back in the bay- except for the escaped SF Zoo tiger attack:

We had an awesome time doing things besides eating too. We shopped, went to asian markets, hung out.... We did eat a lot. Chinese, Nations Giant Hamburgers, Jamba Juice.... it was great. I love my familia.

The End.

Thursday, January 10, 2008
nominating myself for best supporting actress...?
Category: Life
This is going to be rubbish, so quit while you're ahead. I just need to ramble a bit to see if the thoughts that have been streaming through my mind spell out what I think they might....
Hmm... where to begin? First off, I've never really had a problem with housewives and stay at home moms. However, I think part of me always had this idea that they were settling, or something. I don't know where that came from. I've always thought I wanted more for my life than resigning to that place. Not that I've changed my mind and decided to marry, settle down, and not work. That's definitely not the case. But, I have oftened pondered whether it's bad to just want to be good at those things. What if I'm quick, educated, smart, and independent? If I volunteer? Does that change how I feel about not working? Anyway. This is not about that. Not really. blah..........ok. how about I start somewhere else.
I don't know what I want to do when I'm done with college. (That time is just over the horizon.) It's always been an issue for me, for my parents, for people who genuinely have an interest in my future, that I don't have any real passions or dreams. ... well. Lately I've been grasping at straws. I'm ready to take any job just so I can buy my house and throw dinner parties and entertain my friends. I'd be a regular Martha Stewart, if I could. ...minus the house arrest ankle bracelet thingies. Not attractive.
But, what if I know that I like being supportive? I like taking care of people. What if it's being "there for you", and being encouraging, and helping others realize their dreams that leaves me feeling fulfilled? What if that's my role? Could I be meant to be filling a supporting role? Maybe I'm not meant to be "best actress", but rather "best supporting actress." What's really wrong with that? I mean, where would we be without that person in our lives? Those types of people make great moms- but where else can they be that person?
So now, the question is- what do I do with that? What options does this mentality leave me with? Should I be trying to turn this desire/characteristic into a profession? Or should I just continue to try and develop this trait and affectionately lavish it on those I care about? I don't know what to do. I may not even think about this again after I leave my seat, head out of the library, and off to my next class. It's not a big deal. Just something I thought of when I was walking in the rain, praying for someone else's day- not my own.
mmmneh. that's enough for now.

Currently listening:Silver RainBy Marcus MillerRelease date: 12 April, 2005

Thursday, November 22, 2007
that flavor you taste in the sweet potatoes- it’s a little something I call AB positive
Current mood: full
I just woke up from where I had fallen asleep on the sofa with a darling baby girl sleeping in my arms...
"Let us come to Him with thanksgiving. Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms." Psalm 95:2

So, some family from California came to visit for Thanksgiving.We laughed, sang, smiled, hugged, played, watched, shopped. But, they're leaving Thanksgiving morning, so we celebrated early. Today I chopped, basted, rubbed, stirred, sautéed, baked, roasted, and mashed. It was fun. I do love to cook. It was nothing fancy, just tasty. What did we have tonight? Well, with the help of my mom, (she did the turkey and oversaw the stuffing, making suggestions for everything else all day, too. Thanks, mom!) We had, turkey, of course. It was yummy. I made my famous creamy mashed potatoes- with a hint of celery and garlic this time around. There was a basket of cheesy garlic biscuits on the table, a green bean casserole, candied sweet potatoes, stuffing, and cranberry sauce/chutney/relish/whatever. Pink champagne, chardonnay, Martinelli's. And a baby who was cute enough to eat. And then, of course, there was dessert. Alas, I didn't end up making any this year, but I partook in the eating, nonetheless. Lemon tart, pumpkin pie, gingerbread cake. Mmmmm. I do love dessert.

My fingers still burn from the jalapeños I chopped earlier... not to mention from slicing into my index finger halfway through the preparations. If you see misspellings and typos, I blame it on not being able to use that finger. What else did I chop today? Well, here's a rundown of ingredients I handled today (in no particular order): garlic, red bell pepper, golden raisins, cranberries (fresh & dried), onions, scallions, carrots, celery, flax seed, parsley, sausage, potatoes, sweet potatoes, honey, molasses, ginger, green beans, mushrooms, milk, flour, butter, fried onions, pear, apple, orange juice, chicken broth, cream of mushroom soup, herb stuffing mix, eggs, cheese, brown sugar, marshmallows, cinnamon, sage, dill, bay leaves & other spices... I don't remember what else. It was fun. I wonder what would happen if I put all this stuff in a crock pot together.... never mind. Bad idea.
My family is packing and preparing to leave right now. It's not often we get to visit. This was the first time I had seen my brother and his new family since he got married this summer. It was great. Family time is good. Vacation is good. Being an aunt is good, too. Kennedy is three months old and cute as can be. She's such a good girl. She's lucky to have a big brother and sister that take such good care of her, too. It will be sad to wake up tomorrow and find that they've already gone. The visit was enjoyable. There's still so much family I didn't get to see. I miss them more during the holidays. I'm taking a trip to the Bay Area in December. This will be the first Christmas I've spent with all of them since we moved here three years ago. I can hardly wait!
I find that I get so caught up in the drama and frivolity of everyday life. I often catch myself being so consumed by my own selfish thoughts and desires. There are moments and instances that I know I am grateful for all that I've been blessed with, but they don't occur often enough. Today, I am reminded that being thankful and having an attitude of gratitude makes life so much more pleasant. It makes the small things obviously so, and the little things enormous- if you know what I mean.
I'm thankful for so many things: Time to share with those I love, yummy food, and the means to put up this blog are right there at the top of my long list. I'm thankful for you, my friend. Thanks for keeping up with me in these ways, these days.
Happy Thanksgiving.

Currently listening:Givin’ It UpBy George BensonRelease date: 24 October, 2006

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